I was a Teenage Coverboy…kind of

A good friend blogger recently took a blogosphere challenge to name fifteen things her readers don’t know about her. So in the full spirit of a great idea mixed with low effort larceny…I am going to accept that same challenge (challenge by electricity) with a twist and dadadada…reveal SIXTEEN THINGS READERS DON’T KNOW ABOUT ME. I have been accused of lying a lot, but this is 100% truth. EXCEPT one of the sixteen is 100% FALSE…which one is it? Comment at the end if you have a guess.

1)      I was on the cover of “Seventeen” magazine. For some reason, the editors chose to focus on the girl (a friend, Sarah McClintock) instead of me so I’m just a gorgeous blur behind her. I was paid $50.00 and met my first serious girlfriend at the shoot. She appears on pgs. 261-271 & 306.

2)      I spent four hours in the Tijuana Jail. Oh, that’s right, you would already know that if you read my “I was a Teenage Terrorist” Trilogy.

3)  I am the man behind the mind behind the idea to add a “Texas Walk of Fame” to Sixth Street in Austin, TX. The first “Star of Fame” went to Willie Nelson in front of the Historic Driskill Hotel. We threw a huge party, Willie played and I met him briefly. A wild success that I will gladly take credit for.

Willie Nelson - Texas Star

4)      I am naturally tan. But it does get a bit annoying when people say, “looks like you’ve been out in the sun a lot! Make sure to use sunscreen” in the middle of winter in Seattle.

5)      I can’t grow a full beard. I’ve tried several times (including right now) but the hair just refuses to take root in certain full beard required locations. I guess on the plus side I’m not a hairy ape either (no offense to hairy apes intended).

6)      I got severe Plantar Fasciitis in the spring of 2009 and it is the most god awful thing ever. My doctor wrote me a note for work that read, “Patient should avoid walking for the next several months.” How the hell do you avoid walking when you have to drive to the bus station, park and walk to get on the bus, get off the bus, run 3 blocks to the connecting bus stop to catch a very tight connection (sometimes even chasing the bus and yelling for it to stop), getting on the bus, getting off the bus and walking 5 block to the stairs that lead to the stairs that lead to your desk. And then walking all day as an essential part of your job. And then doing it all over again to get home. It took over a year to partially heal (pun intended). Plantar Fasciitis SUCKS!

7)      I can’t eat anything with Cayenne in it. Last time I did, my salivary glands clogged up and my jaw locked.

8)      My second car was a silver Honda Accord. A lot of the boys at my high school drove Firebirds and Camaros. They had loud stereos, glass pack tailpipes, shiny mag wheels and wide tires. I had glamour plates “SKI NUT” and got 30 mpg.

9)      I love the beach and ocean. I wanted to get married on a beach but was overruled by all the church lovers involved. Maybe if I’m buried at sea it will make up for it.

10)      I ate a burrito next to George Lucas. He was at the Mill Valley Mall just north of San Francisco and I sat down with my burrito and sitting at the table next to me was Mr. Star Wars himself also eating a burrito. Oddly, enough, I later discovered that he also lived on the same street as me, about 8 houses down on the top of the hill. I saw him several more times after that at the grocery store.  While I’m name dropping I also saw Brooke Shields, Andre Agassi, Sean Penn, Robin Wright, Dana Carvey, Peter Coyote and Robin Williams.

See three pee oh?

11)   I bite my fingernails. It’s my only vice (if you don’t count my others). It hasn’t prevented me from being “normal” however I can’t pick change up off the ground or open a beer can. Maybe I should apply for handicapped status.

12)   My favorite musician for the past 15 plus years has not changed. It’s . I have everything he has ever recorded and could listen to it on a continuous loop forever. His masterpiece is “”…it’s 62 minutes long. I saw PMG play it live at the Paramount in Seattle, Row 4, Seat 1, center section. I could have died afterwards and had no regrets.

13)   I started a neighborhood newspaper when I was six years old (in Dallas, TX). I interviewed people and reported on newsworthy events like a lost cat and who was cheating on who. It sold for a quarter an issue. After two or three issues I got bored and quit. It was my mother’s idea anyway.

14)    I came in first place last year in the CBS weekly NFL Game Pick’em competition for week 10 of the NFL season. I finished tied with 5 other people for high score but won the tie breaker by coming the closest to the final score total of that week’s Monday Night game. I beat out over 30,000 other contestants. Definitely the highlight of my Fantasy Sports career.

15)   I had a secretary at my first two real jobs. Kind of like Don Draper without the sex.

Yes, I said "Dick-tation"

16)   The name of my first pet was “Pinknosestretchtoespurrboxmeowfaceponyrabbithenderson”. I was only two years old so I called her “Kitty”.

I was just getting started. Maybe a Volume 2 someday.

Don’t forget to comment with your guess of which thing about me is not true.

ghfool

About ghfool

My life ambition is to be a bird

Posted on March 31, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Love this! Hilarious! I know some of these to be true!! I’m going to have to go with the cayenne pepper entry as BS.

  2. Being a teenage cover boy is so unlikely that it probably is true, so purely because someone else who knows you has said Cayenne I’m going to jump on that bandwagon!

  3. H Jay Rockaway

    First I thought it was the newspaper, then I thought of the ribs you make and, without checking the recipe, I assume there’s cayenne pepper somewhere in there so Imma’ bend to the majority and go with cayenne being false.

  4. I’m going with the Seventeen magazine b.s. What issue and year, huh?

  5. I will have to say #3 (Texas Walk of Fame) AND #7 (Cayenne reaction) are BOTH not true! I know you said to only pick 1 but I have known you my entire life (your my big bro) and I definitely don’t know those 2 things about you! Hmmm…I guess you learn something knew every day!

  6. Yippee ki yay, cayenne, glass half fool!

    I’m going with the cayenne thing, too.

    Even though I can see you having done every single one of these things – you’re just crazy enough! hehe

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