SLICE OF LIFE: or, Things I Whittled and Other NONSENSE: or, SUCK IT!

I took up whittling a couple of years ago, but have slowed down a bit since I sliced my left thumb off (well, almost). I did get to SUCK IT** as I drove myself to the Emergency Clinic…which was kinda satisfying.

REMEMBER: Always cut AWAY from your body!*

*Unless you’re trying to cut yourself on purpose, in which case, you should just drop the knife (scissors, chainsaw, thighmaster etc.) and drive yourself immediately to the Emergency Clinic.

**Thumb sucking is optional.


About ghfool

My life ambition is to be a bird

Posted on May 18, 2012, in Humor - Other and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. “I took up whittling” is not a phrase one hear’s often these days. Good for you. Well, not for your thumb, but for you, holistically.

  2. I wish I had the patience to whittle … it has always seemed so stress-relieving to me.

    • It is until your 6 yr old screams bloody murder and you look up (and away from your active whittling project) to see what method of death he is confronted with this time and you stupidly continue to cut while surveying the scene and…ooops…Honey, I need to go to the ER. Don’t worry…I’ll drive myself. I still have one good hand,

  3. Nice. As safety manager in the past I used to preach about cutting AWAY from yourself. For some reason, people always insisted on it.

  4. H Jay Rockaway

    OMG – you’re a hillbilly. I did not know that.

    • I still have almost all my teeth and have only had sex with one cousin…or three…the moonshine causes blackouts…

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