cellphone lipstick

THINGS THAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO WHILE DRIVING: Or, cell phone + lipstick = Hot Chick

There is so much chatter these days about how we should ban cell phones in cars ’cause they put people in a daze. Well, I disagree! Humbly!

Not that accidents don’t occur when people talk on their phones, while driving, just that it’s not the cell phones fault and my points just arriving…it’s the humans..for those of you who might not know, it’s another word for person or man and woman or even HO! OK, now that you know, let’s talk about cosmetics and nevermind prosthetics…women are masters of their domain and don’t forget it!

And speaking of stars, I’ve seen many ladies driving and getting dolled up in their cars.

“No problem… I’ve flown a rocket into space.

So give me sum room ‘cause I’m puttin’ butter on my face.

 Driving 30 miles per hour in a school zone.

I may be naughty, hey, but I’m not alone.

Looking good is what’s important, it’s my daily drill,

 So get outta my way because I have a really good lawyer”

And I know we all hate traffic, we’re in a hurry because school is out. With soccer, football, vollyball and chess, regardless, when it comes to the peddle we cannot give it a rest. But when we think of school and fundamentals, then some of of us have figured out how to just chill out. Or are we just nerds or as Dr. Seuss would say,  Flurpitty gerds?!

“Reading is fundamental,

For some it’s also kinda mental

Reading and driving makes sense

Brake light, CRAP, now I lost my sentence.”

We all get hungry. It’s a fact. But what do you do when you’re on the road and need a snack? I do the drive-thru and get my double-on and supersize everything…including bling….and also overfilling this section of my blog in order to avoid editing.

“Hey, I’m hungry, lets’ go to McDoughnalds!”

“Hey, after Micky-D’s let’s go to that club where all the guys please.

 OK, but hold the wheel for me while I eat my fries and cheese.  

Sure, oh shit, I dropped my nugget,

Where?

On the fuckinn floor next to your wallet,

Fuckit…I don’t own a wallet, bitch

Well, It must be your boyfriend’s, you twat… I’ve gotta drive

Just watch the fucking road while I eat my fucking fries”

Rock and pop music is the spawn of the devil!

“I didn’t actually coin that phrase

but I believe in it because kids these days

when they’re having fun driving, singing, gyrating and chewing gum

Everyone else is fucking pissed off at other drivers being dumb

Sometimes you just gotta ignore the cramps,

And push it, push it…turn up the amps!”

Let’s not disrespect the rockers and poppers with their amazing bouncing cars and supersonic bass sounds that will shatter all your jars. They deserve to be exalted for their unique ability to drive their vehicle as though they are sitting on their knees (err couch) watching Tosh.0 with a bong in one hand and fire rainbows when they pee.

That’s all I have to say for now. Peace out!

ghfool

One comment on “THINGS THAT YOU SHOULDN’T DO WHILE DRIVING: Or, cell phone + lipstick = Hot Chick

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